508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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