Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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