so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
