Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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