wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
