please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
