I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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