Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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