Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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