Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
