I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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