I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I did not marry a roomba.
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