Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
