so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
