I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
