The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
