How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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