Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
