similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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