I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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