Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
