they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
