Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
