You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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