This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
