I bet he comes in French.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
