I don't usually arrange sex via text message
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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