I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
