Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My cat gives me a boner
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
