You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
