Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
