Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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