carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
