I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
