she was so not down for the gang bang
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
