someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
