Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Randomize
