I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
