i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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