Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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