We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
