Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
