my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
