i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
