you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
