everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
