He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
