for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
