My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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