Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
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